Extravagant Promises

The poetry of a little boy's life

2012-01-22T10:32:00.000-05:00

[About "Go, Diego, Go!"]
"Mommy, Dago can run soopa sast to save amamals.... to save.....amamals!"

[About too-hot oatmeal]
"Mommy, I want you to blow it up."

The poetry of little girls' friendship

2012-01-21T15:36:00.001-05:00

"You know, mommy, Ruby and I have a lot of fun. Sometimes, when I'm playing with her, I feel like I'm inside a giant piece of chocolate. Sometimes I feel like I'm a part of it, when I'm playing with her!"

I had the privilege

2012-01-19T20:42:00.003-05:00

of seeing my daughter's grade one class being read a storybook about the life and death of Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Yeah, white people used to push the black people away from the drinking fountain."
"Yes. But now that's finished," said the teacher.
"Now we can all go to school together."
"Yeah, and she's black and she's black, and she's white, and he's black, and he's white. And Roberto has a tan."

And now, when my kids start to fight, I say, "remember what Martin Luther King said, 'we can solve our problems peacefully , with words.'"

It's for moments like these that I came to this country.

...more things you never thought you'd hear

2012-01-17T21:38:00.001-05:00

"I just came out of a fecal incontinence brainstorm."

Quiet, quiet

2012-01-16T23:21:00.002-05:00

so quiet. I go into a meeting at the agency now, and people are just sitting peacefully. The tension is gone. It feels as though everyone is suddenly better at their job. It feels as though obstacles are gone.

Oh Apple,

2012-01-13T16:00:00.003-05:00

I still passionately adore you, but, Android is moving in.

Tonight we played 'wolf cubs'

2012-01-12T21:47:00.003-05:00

Wolf cubs have an elevator to their nest, apparently. The elevator is made of wood and leaves. No wolf cubs can survive the path of darkness, which is, you know, the kitchen. And it has beasts in it that don't like light. Wolf cubs come back to their mother's den after seeing the world and their mother has to say, "I love my little wolf cubs!"

My iPhone died.

2012-01-12T09:52:00.003-05:00

I think it blew up on the inside. I went to pick it up from my bedside table and it was just black. Black and silent as the grave. I began to shiver but I wanted to remain calm for the children. I breathed deeply and concentrated on 1985: sitting home by the phone in order to be there to pick up should anyone call; waiting at the appointed time for my friend, not knowing if they were dead or alive were they 2 minutes late. Visions of telephones that were merely telephones danced in my head. I calmed myself. I have done it before, I can do it again. I can live in longer moments.

Since the layoffs

2012-01-10T09:15:00.000-05:00

it has become obvious that I don't know everyone here, and I certainly don't know all their names. Terrible. The center of the universe is very crowded, y'know?

Thank goodness Jacqueline introduced herself to me yesterday. I have a confession - I pretended to know her name, "oh yes, of course, I remember." I let her be the embarrassed one.

And this morning, a lovely, young blonde woman held a surprisingly interesting conversation with me in the elevator. I whispered the question to my collegue, "what is that lovely blonde woman's name?" "Sarah." And then there are John and Mark.

Notice how I'm writing them down here so I can check back later?

I've caused some

2012-01-09T11:43:00.001-05:00

controversy at work today by wearing orange and purple and deep red. Someone dared me to walk into a sports bar. Someone called me Switzerland. So I did some digging.

Apparently there is a football game on that some people care about.

I was reminded of this guy recently

2012-01-07T20:26:00.004-05:00

One of my current friends would kiss his poster above her bed goodnight every night and was wildly jealous of her friend's picture of him on her skateboard. I guess he was our Justin Bieber. I remember sitting on the floor listening to his records at my neighbours' place (three big girls from my school: Robin, Marie, and Sue); and downstairs among the bright orange vinyl at my best friend's house (her big sister had his records). I guess he helped us understand how we were girls. And I'm now thinking the orange vinyl may have been responsible for my migraines.

Tonight we are

2012-01-07T20:26:00.000-05:00

as usual, viewing our tablets individually together. Between episodes we're falling over one another like puppies on the bed. The Smurfs, Thomas the Tank Engine, and some Green Berets are keeping us company from cyberspace just now.

So let's see...

2012-01-07T20:23:00.002-05:00

...so far this weekend, have I been

Wildly disciplined? hmm. no.
Fiercely tender? Check.
Ironically sincere? Yeah, I guess so.
Scrupulously curious? Definitively.
Aggressively sensitive? Oh yes.
Blasphemously reverent? Joyfully so.
Lyrically logical? I do hope so. I believe so. I tried.
Lustfully compassionate? Yup.

Master of Rowdy Bliss? Almost.

This from Rob Brezsny

2012-01-03T21:30:00.004-05:00

OBJECTIVE: To explore the secrets of becoming a wildly disciplined, fiercely tender, ironically sincere, scrupulously curious, aggressively sensitive, blasphemously reverent, lyrically logical, lustfully compassionate Master of Rowdy Bliss.

Yes. Please. I'm in.

I still love you New York!

2012-01-01T14:46:00.000-05:00

New Year's Eve at Liberty Square/Zucotti Park


New Year's Morning on my fire escape

Birthdays and New Year's Eve

2011-12-31T10:04:00.001-05:00

are uncomfortable for me. My ego screams for attention.

Rocking out after yoga

2011-12-27T12:10:00.001-05:00

First yoga, then there's a spooky mystery to solve!

2011-12-26T19:07:00.000-05:00

Talkin' 'bout a revolution.

2011-12-26T11:23:00.000-05:00

When I was Riley's age, I wanted a toy car. The lady at the register made some remark about it. My mum said, "it really is a boy's toy, Steph." I said, "but you have a car." The lady at the register said, "she's got you there." Once at home, I was told I could play with the car until my dad got home. Well, of course, I didn't hide it from my dad and he yelled bloody murder at me and my mum and he took it away. And then came the disparaging remarks about women' driving.

Now, I know this pink princess thing did work - we are all culpable. But hopefully, my generation is raising a generation of kids who don't want such gender policing.

Western Children weren't color-coded until the early 20th century: in the era before domestic washing machines all babies wore white, since the only way of getting clothes clean was to boil them. Boys and girls wore dresses.

When nursery colours were introduced, pink was the more masculine - a softer version of red. Blue implied the Virgin Mary - constancy, faithfulness.

Cut to: Disney - When the company introduced the Princess line, it made Sleeping Beauty's gown pink to distinguish her from Cinderella, apparently. By the mid 80s, amplifying age and sex differences had become dominant in children's marketing strategy. Creating niches is good marketing.

Read this great article for more.

Joy to you

2011-12-23T11:22:00.000-05:00

Dear hearts,

I love you and I wish you joy. Thank you for being in my life (a lot or a little). You've all helped me, in one way or another, to understand ever more deeply how experiences of the flesh and with one another bring us closer to the light of the spirit.

This is my Christmas card to you.

Because I attempt to follow Jesus' example (not the Church), I share this ode:

Because broken hearts are meant to be, I choose this Hallelujah:

Because Angels are real, I give you this:

Merry merry (spirit of) Christmas and a happy new year!

More loveseat

2011-02-26T11:58:00.000-05:00

I washed the slipcovers - well, when I say I washed, I mean I had my people at the laundromat do it. They came back almost as dirty as they went in. Not their fault, I am sure. So what to do?

I'd love to do this: http://www.designbyleftovers.se/

It was enjoyable

2011-02-04T16:45:00.000-05:00

getting the loveseat and chair to the apartment. Two laid back handsome guys showed up on time - Barry and Tom. We cruised upstairs to my friend's workplace, I made myself useful by stabilizing the dolly and then caught a ride back to HK with them. Barry shoots food porn.

Of course we discussed NYC apartments. Barry has a railroad apartment with 4 rooms for $1400. I thought my deal was good! His wife works at the groovy thrift store.

Anyway, they cursed all the way up the crack house stairs and dumped the pieces in the studio, then gave me some advice as to what kinds of shelves I could get and so forth. I counted out some cash and we said our goodbyes, promising to say 'hi' around the neighborhood.

I love New York.

Finally picked up

2011-02-04T09:16:00.000-05:00

some white bone china. I had had them keep it at the Fedex office. So now that is in my kitchen cabinet. This afternoon I am meeting a mover to pick up a white loveseat and a white chair. They currently reside in my friend's boss's office.

There's a lot of white in the apartment now. A brown leather shag rug. And some muted colors on the walls. Gotta liven things up. I guess some throws for the furniture or perhaps a curtain dividing the kitchen from the living space.

I'd love to put a red carpet from the outer door up the 2 stair cases to my door. It would look like a very special crackhouse, then.

I had to decide

2011-01-27T10:33:00.000-05:00

last night what to take with me. I had two hands, one everyday bag, and some slippery snow.Should I take the espresso machine, the handvac, or the shower caddy and door hooks?

I decided on the shower caddy and bathroom door hooks. I imgained myself the next morning: espresso I can get from most corners in NYC, I can live with dust for a few more days, but the luxury of hanging my robe and towels and shampoos - no replacement.

Seriously, the list is very funny. It helps me keep a sense of humor about life.

My apartment theme song

2011-01-25T08:36:00.000-05:00

This is a perfect opportunity

2011-01-24T21:02:00.000-05:00

to go op-shopping, as we say in Oz. What's the rush, right? The rug I ordered was sent back where it came from due to a misunderstanding between the UPS dudes and myself. This is the kindest way to put it. I take this as a sign that perhaps it wasn't the best choice for me.

So, I put the dark chocolate shag in the middle of the room. I'll have to add color in another way.

I have a bed and a womb chair. Plenty enough. I'll look forward to the weekend at the flea market. Yippee!

Tips

2011-01-24T13:42:00.000-05:00

I gave the mail guys here some chocolate blocks. They stay while I open my boxes now and give me their opinions on my choices. Today was a set of hooks to go over the bathroom door. They gave me the go ahead.

After work I am taking the bus over to the UPS depot to pick up my rug. Wish me luck getting it home. I am hoping there's some guy who likes chocolate over there, too.

It's funny living in Manhattan, isn't it?

2011-01-23T12:29:00.000-05:00

I was on the way to a different laundromat. I moved across the street, you see, so the one of the other corner is much more convenient. It's on the way to my bus in the morning. If I were to continue with Thai guy, I would have to cross the street and who has time for that?

So, I was on my way and there was Thai guy, smiling his wide smile. I said, "oh hello!", feeling a little guilty. He said, "put in here", indicating his cart. What service! So I threw my laundry in and off he took it.

It's the center of the world but still a neighborhood. I feel it when I drop my kids at their dad's. Unwashed hair, mismatching socks, screaming toddler with one shoe off. And the theatre-goers don't bat an eye on their way to the Patrick Stewart world premier. And besides, yesterday that was me.

Saw a couple of the neighbors

2011-01-23T12:04:00.000-05:00

the guy who sings, I think. Unless he has a room mate. He's a big, soft guy. Smiley. And then a young buck with his Dad moving in a piano bench. I guess this is the artist building. Makes sense, being on the edge of the theatre district.

Oh and did I tell you there's a severe list to this apartment? It feels like a barque. Quite funny in the morning when I am just getting my sea legs.

SInce I don't have a doorman

2011-01-21T13:07:00.000-05:00

the mail room and facilities guys are delivering my new apartment to my desk. They are being very pleasant about it. Today I received two bath towels, two hand towels, and the book about wolves. I promised to bring them chocolate and flatten the boxes.

In other news - the rug arrived. Another advantage of living in Hell's Kitchen is that the UPS and Fedex HQs are over there. So without a doorman, I can go just a few blocks to pick up my stuff. I figured I didn't want to carry a rug on a bus in peak hour or cab it, either.

The same will go for the chandelier that I ordered today.

That's what I want. Doo. doo doo doo.

2011-01-20T09:27:00.001-05:00

....and the condo in Cambridge is for sale

2011-01-19T22:35:00.000-05:00

So soon I'll have only one abode to pay for. Sheesh. Maybe then I can afford to buy a couch. Gotta wait for the rug, though. I know I said I'd build around a closet door knob, but in actual fact, I bought a rug. Yup. The hand tufted NZ wool rug (below) - but round.

yeah.

Need a humidifier

2011-01-19T12:58:00.000-05:00

and bowls and plates. Somehow I am stuck on this. But I did get my boots today. So I can walk around in my new apartment with my new shoes.

The floor slopes,so much that my drawers fall open a little. I moved them to the other wall and now they remain shut. Gotta love NYC.

the other thing about living in an apartment that looks like shit from the outside is that probably no one will want to break in.

I heard my neighbor rehearsing his show tunes last night. He can't quite get the last flourish. He's trying to put too much in it and falls off each gliss. I'll keep you updated.

In my fugue this morning

2011-01-18T14:40:00.000-05:00

(I am home, under the weather, today), I almost ordered an entire set of le creuset cookware along with its companion tableware (exclusively from Sur la Table) along with a very cute kitchen apron. Luckily, before I could complete the transaction, I was obliged to call in to a client presentation.

I think a le creuset kitchen is an admirable goal (especially for a NYC studio with no microwave or dishwasher - it goes straight from oven to table. So, I can put the plate in the broiler when melting cheese inside bread and take it straight to the table. Or I can warm up leftover soup from the vietnamese I had last night right in the bowl and take it straight from oven to table. Voila. No washing up.) but I must remember 'first things first', for example, a trash can and something to put my t-shirts in.

Tonight I ordered

2011-01-17T22:47:00.000-05:00

invisible bookshelves
2 bath sheets
2 hand towels
a shower caddy
an over-the-door hook thingy
an espresso machine
a dish rack
a canvas laundry bag
and a book about wolves

And now

2011-01-17T20:57:00.000-05:00

a meditation with the High Priestess.

I really need a tape measure

2011-01-17T13:53:00.000-05:00

I always get proportions and relationships wrong in my head. I seem to live in a world that is elastic.

Sinking deep into the bed

2011-01-16T23:31:00.000-05:00

I remember reading somewhere (didn't we used to say that a lot?) that a university Dean was terribly anxious and disappointed that his architect had not even begun the walkway to the main library (the crown jewel of the school) by opening day. The students were obliged to walk over the newly planted and pristine lawn. Of course, once the path had been cut by the hundreds of students on their first day, the architect knew where to put the path.

And so I observed how I entered the apartment tonight - where I wanted to throw my bag and my shoes; where I wanted to throw my ass, and what I wanted to look at when I did it.

It's a big space, a small space, an ugly space, and the most beautiful space I have ever seen. I haven't lived alone since college. And it wasn't my own because Rumplestiltskin would often drop by unwanted, unasked, and unexpected. But this is my own. Two locks downstairs, two locks upstairs, and a view from the second floor.

Good night.

Things I am drooling over

2011-01-16T09:40:00.000-05:00

Belgian linen x-base bench. Classical style that appears as far back as Ancient Greece.

Rug of 100% New Zealand wool; hand-tufted.

Major moving day

2011-01-16T09:28:00.000-05:00

The kids are sick so I'll be staying in place for them to crawl and cry over while other grown ups actually move the stuff.

The next new apartment

2011-01-16T09:20:00.001-05:00

Just stood in it. It's a studio in Hells'Kitchen.

I'm questioning my decision to go for an unrenovated place. The stairway is messy and a unrepaired, as is the bathroom sink. But I am sure I can make it welcoming. And the rent stabilization is a wise wise move. The other place was smaller, more expensive, and unstabilized. My next dream is to buy a 2 bedroom in manhattan, so I'll need predictable finances to save that kind of dough. Of course - I did think my kids would be across the street! Now they'll be a couple of avenues and a few streets away.

There's a nice tree and cafe I can look at through the window.

I think I'll start my decorating with a closet door knob and work around that.

Back in New York

2010-01-30T10:18:00.003-05:00

New York is awesome. Even the chocolate block wrappers are beautiful.

Love it. Back home.

Um

2009-11-04T20:46:00.002-05:00

yes, not feeling so determined today.

I have just had 2 days of a photo shoot. That was nice. I was handling duties there while also handling 2 or 3 other jobs. And I just don't feel appreciated. Oh well. I could be living in the DR Congo, like my sponsored child, Gloire.

Life is different

2009-10-31T10:29:00.004-04:00

The job is getting better. It's in an upward spiral. The issue is that my boss doesn't understand what she hired me to do. I have really only just realized this as deeply as it is true.

So I need a whole heaping helping of humility to be able to teach her while reporting to her. I think I can. I think I can.

There's less money coming in, and the expense of a 45-mile round-trip commute. There's fewer hours with the kids and not enough energy or goodwill left in me at the end of the day to help with the household chores.

So, do I work on accepting that my house will be messy or do I work on accepting that I have to clean it?

I don't have time for myself or meetings. Although, I have managed to grab the odd one on line or on the weekend.

I am ever so grateful, though. Just to have a job. And, if I can nurture these Creatives at work, empower them, release them from the shackles they've been laboring under, and I think I can, then I will be so happy, and so ready for a great big new wonderful job in a few years.

So, I will hunker down, nurture serenity, nurture humility, nurture creativity and let the fear go.

remind you of anything?

2009-09-25T20:46:00.004-04:00

Gwen Verdon Fosse Original 60

Homage here.

Banging and pulling

2009-09-18T11:18:00.003-04:00

Son gave me a bash in the nose with his big heavy skull. It throbbed for 3 days. It doesn't help that (I think) I broke it once when I fell on my face after drinking heavily. It did come out straighter after that incident, so all's well that ends well.
But the other thing is that Son has been treating my breast like an outboard motor. So all in all I'm pretty beat up this week.

A great weekend

2009-09-13T08:04:00.003-04:00

is being had by all.

I passed my driver's test. I had to take a sponsor. So I took my sponsor. She had to sit in the back of the car while I did my test. I have no idea why.

Then I went for a massage. Then board games with friends as the rain began.

Now it's Sunday and Daughter is dictating me her story: The Lives of the Dinosaurs of the Sky."

Yesterday Was the Health Care Speech

2009-09-10T23:23:00.000-04:00

Mambo Dance, apparently.

2009-09-04T10:01:00.004-04:00

The didgeridoo is an everyday presence in our home. And I often give Daughter a ballet lesson. So this is what happens sometimes.

I love to see

2009-08-09T14:43:00.002-04:00

my baby fall asleep on my lap. Of course, then I can't reach my water glass without waking him up. And I'm always very thirsty after nursing him asleep on my lap.

The end of a week.

2009-08-01T22:19:00.002-04:00

I wonder if my migraines are returning: I had a headache for 4 days.

I enjoyed a very Cambridgean dinner party: Indians, Ghanains, A Mexican, A Dutch, and Americans with Lebanese or Australian or British roots; Wharton, Cornell, public policy, product design, operations, life sciences - educated transients.

I didn't drive to work much on account of my headache. I feel I have settled in, though.

I am enjoying an empty bed, with Husband down to pick up Daughter in Florida and Son asleep in his own bunk.

I am gonna pretend

2009-07-31T11:19:00.004-04:00

this was me.

I thought it was too late for me to learn guitar by the time I was 15. I wondered why boys did it and girls didn't. The girls I knew weren't getting together to write and play and rock out. I was groomed to look sexy and be quiet and adore others. But be super smart and make lots of money. Just quietly. I was so sad and angry.
I did end up playing Bass in a band. For 3 songs, for 2 gigs. I sang, too. But not at the same time. But I doubted myself too much to pipe up or reach out and grab it and and continue.

So Stephanie, and Billie Joe, thank you. One of these days I am gonna take a class at the School of Groove.

Now we are teaching Baby

2009-07-26T21:10:00.002-04:00

to sleep. He has his own bed (built by his Dad and Grandad from my first futon bought in Chelsea, NYC, the wood from some of Husband's paintings, and a little fresh lumber.

SO I sit here, writing, reading, watching movies and TV, on the floor, while he looks down at me, grins his sweet, adoring, adorable grin, babbles, and slowly drifts off.

Fairytales,

2009-07-20T16:03:00.003-04:00

time travel, the spirit world, the shadow side....are all things I love to explore in my imagination. This video game has so far been the only one I have ever played. I loved it.

And now I want to play this one.

I survived the first week

2009-07-13T08:46:00.003-04:00

of my new job.

I mean survived because I have been learning to drive - again. This morning I braved the freeways.

It's difficult to concentrate on work because I am a little discombobulated from the adrenalin. Apparently, this feeling goes away in a couple of weeks. I suppose exposure creates tolerance or something. At the moment, though, the adrenalin releases and I want to slow down and fall asleep. I don't get 'fight or flight', I get 'curl up and hide'. So now there are two things I don't want to have to do again: get sober, and learn to drive.

Addiction

2009-07-10T10:13:00.001-04:00

by Mia Michaels

I got

2009-06-27T19:13:00.000-04:00

a job offer, Michael Jackson died and my baby crawled.

another set

2009-06-24T22:02:00.001-04:00

Of great interviews today.

Now to watch "Guac Omama who lives in a white house!"

You can do anything

2009-06-17T13:29:00.001-04:00

you want, as long as you have the right underwear.

That's my new philosophy of life.

So today I had a great job interview. And I discovered that Baby loves hommos.

I was

2009-06-13T21:10:00.002-04:00

Laid off last week. I spent the following night completely and utterly awake. I have never experienced that before.

This week, the butterflies in my belly have subsided. I even enjoyed the briar roses bursting in the sun today.

Shade Cox (1864-1937)

2009-05-20T16:48:00.006-04:00

This is who my son was named after.

He was my Husband's grandaddy's grandaddy. He was a farmer. Della, his wife, (1870-1928) gave birth to a dozen children. They lived in North Carolina.

60s anyone?!

2009-05-20T13:45:00.001-04:00

This is a scopitone video

Fancy dance

2009-05-17T10:08:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I spent way too much time at he hairdresser. The cutter went so slowly that I got hungry, tired, and restless. I had to keep telling her to go shorter, shorter, shorter, to give my hair some dynamism and personality. It paid off, when one of the work younglings at the dinner confessed she was supremely jealous of it. Now that's a good haircut.

I took a cab and felt very upper-class: going to a fancy do for free in a recession. The cab was smoky and grubby. I was careful not to indulge a feeling of superiority. I could lose it all in a moment; the privilege I displayed outwardly was shallow.

A female news personality hosted. I was offended by her brusque style and disheveled hair at a black tie event. She yelled out her sentimental thoughts, she ordered the sick children up on the stage and called them her props. She scolded them when they tried to leave her. She made excuses for her rapid-fire delivery.

The dessert was good. And a lot of money was raised for research. I had missed my family all day, though.

RIght Wing Humor

2009-05-13T13:39:00.002-04:00

I am always on the look out for right wing humor. It's really really hard to find. (I mean, the kind of humor where they mean to be funny.)

This is pretty good. Shame about the factually incorrect line "...
and tax it all away". Still, I enjoyed it.

Daughter has become a fan

2009-05-13T12:52:00.002-04:00

of Wonder Woman.

Hooray!

huh?

2009-05-12T14:42:00.002-04:00

From the News Observer:

Two Roman Catholic bishops urged their followers to oppose an anti-bullying bill in North Carolina, saying it could lead to same-sex marriage.

Attempts to change the proposal by deleting descriptions of potential bullying targets failed, with the bill's supporters recounting recent news reports of boys in Massachusetts, Georgia and Ohio who committed suicide after enduring constant torment at school.

All three were called gay, even though they weren't.

Umn, so, bullying children is OK, because if we don't bully them, they may grow up gay and get married?

What would Jesus do here?

Anyone heard of the parable of the Good Samaritan?

Pigs flu

2009-05-01T17:03:00.000-04:00

I think

2009-04-30T11:59:00.001-04:00

we should start using the term "Partner to the President" to describe Michelle Obama, in preparation for our first female President, or single President, or gay President.

Oma came to visit

2009-04-29T10:50:00.003-04:00

with her new puppies, Gracie and Emily. We all drove out along Cape Cod to make the most of the first beautiful weather of the season.

We stopped near Hyannis, where the beach was still mighty chilly. We had an early lunch. Daughter wailed about getting some Russian dolls, then fell asleep until we arrived at Provincetown. We walked along the beach, dreamed of living in one of the romantically ramshackle houses, walked through town, had ice cream, and set off back home. We stopped at Nautica Light Beach where Daughter got some lessons in flips and cartwheels from some big girls, and we collected stones.

We drove home to have some fantastic pizza from our local pizzeria. What a wonderful day. It's nice to be a New Englander.

Online exhibit

2009-04-27T14:21:00.001-04:00

exploring the iconography of the embryo

http://www.hps.cam.ac.uk/visibleembryos/index.html

A patriarchal metaphysical conundrum

2009-04-23T16:37:00.000-04:00

We had a wondeful long weekend-

2009-04-22T09:25:00.004-04:00

Daughter's fourth birthday party was Saturday. With dinosaurs. We played pin the tail on the Triceratops, musical chairs corroboree, and keep the balloons off the floor. We had a rather multicultural party with four kids and three languages. That's this city for you.

We went to a jam session at the New School for music on Sunday. Husband played piano and didgeridoo, Daughter played the drum until she turned it into a boat, Son played a teeny tiny maracca, and I sang. There was also a guitarist and a cellist.

I gave Husband my ticket to the Orioles/Sox game for Monday. the Agency has a corporate box. So he and Son went.

Daughter and I hung out and watched Oswald and then visited her best friend's house for the first time. He was over the moon to have her visit. His mommy is doing a Phd at Harvard - studying malaria - and has only a year or so to go. They may leave then. That might be sad, but for now, they are each other's bliss.

OK, so PAtriots' Day is

2009-04-16T10:02:00.002-04:00

a commemoration of the anniversary of the Battles of Lexington and Concord, the first battles of the American Revolutionary War. Which, I have learned, was in fact a civil war, but if we had marketed it as a civil war, the French would not have been as forthcoming with their vital help.

Yay French - I think we are friends again, since this whole Somali pirate thing. Not that I have ever really had a problem with the French, myself. Although, the whole place is rather bourgeois, when you get right down to it, probably because they try so hard not to be.

Anyway, this first battle is something I remember from my podcast.

One of my mentors lives in Lexington, and that helped me solidify the story in my head, as I retold it to her. Apparently, General/Governor Gage was tipped off as to a stache of guns that the rebels had in Concord. So off hew goes. But by the time he gets there, they have been moved, so he heads back. Around Lexington, the rebels start shooting at him. Bingo. Now we have two sides. Start of a war.

Re-enactments of these first battles of the American Revolution occur annually at Lexington Green in Lexington. It's meant to be fun. Maybe one day we'll go. Maybe even Monday! In the morning, a mounted reenactor with State Police escort retraces Paul Revere's ride, calling out warnings the whole way.

There was no mention of Paul revere in my podcast, so I'll have to read more about what actually happened there. I know the legend is innaccurate. A guy in costume told me once, and I take that seriously.

Yay yay holiday

2009-04-16T09:56:00.002-04:00

Holiday Monday. Patriots' Day. I'm not sure if that is why I have been given the day off, or because it's the Boston Marathon or because our office building is closed.

Anyway, since we've been living here, history has been resonating in my head. And I needed to know more. So I have started listening to a podcast: an overview of American History before 1870. No mention of what Patriots Day is about. I guess I'll need to take a step further and study local history specifically.

For now, the Nationalists have rewritten the Articles of Federation, because Congress had no power to do anything, no one could trade with foreign powers, and everyone was going broke. So we've written some amendments, and we're about to vote on this new constitution. Ooh what will happen next?!

Let's clear up this whole rape thing

2009-04-10T11:58:00.004-04:00

There is some discussion lately about whether a scene in the movie Observe and Report is rape or not. It is. Watch the trailer:

The question being discussed should be "is it funny?" But it's not the question being discussed, and that reveals a problem in society's treatment of women.

Some people think the scene is funny because the viewer sees a rape occurring, and then the character Brandi, passed out on a vomit-streaked pillow mumbles "Did I tell you to stop, motherfucker?" Surprise! It isn't rape after all! We can laugh. This is Seth Rogen's view. He plays Ronnie, the rapist. See, at 2:40.

If a person finds the scene funny for this reason, they misunderstand what rape is. Brandi saying "Did I tell you to stop?", does not change anything. There is still a rape in progress. She has no capacity to consent.

Ana Faris, who plays Ronnie's victim, seems to hold a different view from Rogen:

http://www.ocregister.com/articles/anna-ferris-observe-2358207-and-report

Interviewer: This is a pretty dark comedy. What was it like to film?

Faris: There are certain scenes in this movie that were crazy, like the sex scene. It's pretty much date rape, and there is vomit coming out of my mouth, and it's supposed to be funny.

So let's investigate whether there is another joke here, knowing now that this is a rape and continues to be a rape. The character of Brandi is being raped. The character of Ronnie stops for a second, wondering if she is conscious. Brandi says "Did I tell you to stop, motherfucker?" Ronnie continues to pump. Why would that be funny? I suppose because he thinks that she really wanted to be penetrated. He is so stupid that he thinks she wants it. Stupid is funny.

I suppose that could be funny if our society truly accepted that an incapacitated woman cannot consent to sex. Ronnie would be so so stupid as to be funny.

The problem is, our society does not accept that yet. Most people who find this funny, find it funny because they are allowed to believe it is not really rape.

It is rape.

So, because rape, especially so-called date-rape, is not taboo yet, it is not funny - yet. Perhaps one day, rape will be funny. I hope so.

We are now Pro-Voice

2009-04-03T12:08:00.002-04:00

Aspen Baker: Exhale

Blog
http://aspenbaker.wordpress.com/2009/03/12/pop-quiz-pro-choice-or-pro-life/

Exhale
http://www.4exhale.org/

I think things change for the better when people just keep saying how they feel. Secrets keep us sick.

Civil rights seems to have come to fruition because people kept saying: I don't like this, this is what I want, tis is how I feel. And others joined in. Soon enough, the tipping point was reached: end of slavery, the vote for women....I think this will happen for abortion, too. I think, after telling our secrets, that we will eventually come to the agreement that abortion is regrettable for many, but not all, and that it should be safely available to those who want it, along with other practical options, and counseling.

oooh yeah!

2009-03-18T15:43:00.001-04:00

Fox news says something I agree with!

2009-03-18T09:59:00.005-04:00

Dora the nonexplorer. She has no compass, no backpack, and ballet slippers. Who goes out exploring like that?

Well, according to Mattel, the doll comes with a USB port and is compatible with online story lines that take Dora and four friends on new adventures involving the environment, social action and more, still has, the "Dora DNA." As tweenage Dora, our heroine has moved to the big city, attends middle school and has a whole new fashionable look. Ugh. Ack. They say "The doll really taps into a tween’s love of fashion.... Adding to the play value of the line will be a wide range of accessories (sold separately)."

Hmmm. Boots the Monkey and Swiper the Fox didn't make the transition. Why can't Dora keep her animal companions and explore even wilder places? Why does she have to wear shoes she can't climb in?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fl4-v9Om7K4

We just spent a week in Den Haag

2009-03-10T12:56:00.004-04:00

These are my vermeers

Daughter by Nicole Blackman

2009-03-09T14:35:00.001-04:00

One day I'll give birth to a tiny baby girl
and when she's born she'll scream and I'll make sure
she never stops.

I will kiss her before I lay her down
and will tell her a story so she knows
how it is and how it must be for her to survive.

I'll tell her about the power of water
the seduction of paper
the promise of gasoline
and the hope of blood.

I'll teach her to shave her eyebrows and
mark her skin.

I'll teach her that her body is
her greatest work of art.

I'll tell her to light things on fire
and keep them burning.

I'll teach her that the fire will not consume her,
that she must take it and use it.

I'll tell her to be tri-sexual, to try anything
to sleep with, fight with, pray with anyone,
just as long as she feels something.

I'll help her do her best work when it rains.
I'll tell her to reinvent herself every 28 days.
I'll teach her to develop all her selves,
the courageous ones,
the smart ones,
the dreaming ones
the fast ones.

I'll teach her that she has an army inside her
that can save her life.

I'll tell her to say Fuck like other people say The
and when people are shocked
to ask them why they so fear a small quartet
of letters.

I'll make sure she always carries a pen
so she can take down the evidence.
If she has no paper, I'll teach her to
write everything down on her tongue
write it on her thighs.

I'll help her to see that she will not find God
or salvation in a dark brick building
built by dead men.

I'll explain to her that it's better to regret the things
she has done than the things she hasn't.

I'll teach her to write her manifestos
on cocktail napkins.
I'll say she should make men lick her enterprise.

I'll teach her to talk hard.
I'll tell her that her skin is the
most beautiful dress she will ever wear.

I'll tell her that people must earn the right
to use her nickname,
that forced intimacy is san ugly thing.

I'll make her understand that she is worth more
with her clothes on.

I'll tell her that when the words finally flow too fast
and she has no use for a pen
that she must quit her job
run out of the house in her bathrobe,
leaving the door open.
I'll teach her to follow the words.

I'll tell her to stand up
and head for the door
after she makes love.
When he asks her to
stay she'll say
she's got to
go.

I'll tell her that when she first bleeds
when she is a woman,
to go up to the roof at midnight,
reach her hands up to the sky and scream.

I'll teach her to be whole, to be holy,
to be so much that she doesn't even
need me anymore.
I'll tell her to go quickly and never come back.
I will make her stronger than me.

I'll say to her never forget what they did to you
and never let them know you remember.

Never forget what they did to you
and never let them know you remember.

The transformation of Daughter

2009-02-19T12:00:00.006-05:00

was radical.

On Friday night she pitched a fit about having her hair combed. I told her it was either comb it or cut it. She chose "cut it", with great confidence. She said she wanted it "as small as Daddy's" hair. Withn 20 minutes, she no longer had "big hair", but she did have a smile as big as the Cheshire Cat's.

The Sunday she wanted some dangly earrings. I said, well you need holes in your ears to wear those. She said "I want holes in my ears." After a visit to a freind and asking her a dozen more times, she still insisted, "yes". But where to get the holes?

I asked around. Gone are the days of popping in to a pharmacy for a $5 proedure. No, nowadays it's pseudo-surgical and costs more than $50. We eneded up in a tattoo parlor. Erin did the honors.

It was the typical three-part ritual. The Revelation of PAin came with shock and horror and the first hole. Then it was time for The Refusal and mommy cajoling with chocolate icecream and the promise of ladybug earrings and finally The relenting, and the second hole.

I am almost four but I am still very very twee

2009-02-13T13:27:00.002-05:00

Daughter chose black jeans to wear today. She chose a very trendy, well-designed, left-wing t-shirt. She chose a black velvet cardigan with transparent buttons. Well what else could I do but put her hair into two plaits? She wanted jewellry then, so I gave her a 3-strand diamonte number. Put that with the shearling boots and cold pizza for breakfast and you have a very Indie preschooler.

The Tylenol guy

2009-02-13T11:23:00.003-05:00

who changed our lives by provoking the introduction of tamper-proof packaging, may live just down the street from where I work.

No one was ever charged with the deaths of those who took the cyanide-laced drugs. The FBI says the review has not resulted in the filing of any criminal charges.

Lewis served 12 years in prison after sending a note to Tylenol maker Johnson & Johnson demanding $1 million to "stop the killing."

I was in Denver for one night

2009-02-10T15:53:00.002-05:00

and I pumped milk for Son. I was concerned that the Agency would object to my charging them for a late check out in order to keep the milk in the freezer while I worked, but they haven't so far.

And now I read that some companies go even further. From the New York Times:

"Ernst & Young, the New York City financial services company, provides free travel kits so that women on business trips can ship milk home to their babies. And the Boston Consulting Group, a management consulting firm based in Boston, helps women bring their babies on business trips by covering travel expenses for the infant and a baby sitter."

So I'll keep pumping, and doing what's best for my baby.

Pixies

2009-02-05T10:57:00.004-05:00

are my all time favorite band. And now I live in their hometown. That makes me very very happy.

I can't remember how I discovered them. I loved them not because someone else did, or because it was cool, or because I was supposed to know who they were. I just loved them. I have no bad memories associated with them. I love every song. My love is pure. I was happy in my room alone listening to them. They comforted me in my desolation. Yay Pixies.

And it all makes sense. David Bowie is also an idol of mine. Pixies' history began when undergraduates Joey Santiago and Black Francis (born Charles Thompson IV) shared a room at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. Santiago introduced Francis to the music of David Bowie and 1970s punk rock, and they began to jam together. I also love folk and that's how Kim Deal joined: after responding to a classified advertisement Francis had placed, seeking a female bassist who liked both folk music icons Peter, Paul and Mary and the hardcore punk band Hüsker Dü. They even have links to Christian Rock: "Come on Pilgrim, you know He loves you".

Black Francis' lyrics are obscure, absurd, arcane, imaginative connections between apparently disparate things.

They speak of cruel, dark, strange, and funny experiences.

And sometimes a song is just sweet:

Now the leader of the Republican Party is Black.

2009-02-03T16:07:00.002-05:00

Palin after Clinton. Steele after Obama. Color me cynical.

Best job in the world

2009-01-30T11:48:00.002-05:00

Check out my application

Things Daughter says.

2009-01-29T10:58:00.002-05:00

"I want more lasses" (molasses on her porridge). I'm almost four, but I am still very, very three."

Fishing tangle

2009-01-26T10:44:00.003-05:00

is what Daughter calls her snake as she troops off along the scarf that is a bridge on the kitchen floor. She says "aargh, I'm a pirate with my fishing tangle, going fishing for treasure."

She makes me stand on her bright red canvas book bag as she steers the boat.

Then I find her some treasure from the treasure chest that is the dress-up box: some sequined and feathered hair trimmings and a couple of gold purses and some hair pieces. She makes it back across the bridge and opens the box. To her they are pirate hats and sundries.

Then all of a sudden the weight of the hair piece in its plastic bag makes her think of shopping and off she goes: "aargh, I have to go shopping!" She carries her little bag of Australian animals under one arm and I race off to get her a shopping bag and direct her to the tupperware cupboard. She pulls everything out. And it's still there.

At Last!

2009-01-22T15:05:00.001-05:00

as we all watched the balls on the evening of the inauguration, almost-four-year-old Daughter said “that’s Barack Obama dancing with the mama!”

It was our one year

2009-01-21T15:47:00.002-05:00

anniversary in Boston on Martin Luther King Jr. Day. It doesn't mean much, I suppose. It just is. I don't kow anymore about Boston than I did 10 months ago. I just go between work and home: between coworkers and family. The odd meeting, neighbor, or stranger pops up. It's nice. There are endless things to discover in just that small circle.

The walk to work is nice

2009-01-21T15:43:00.002-05:00

now that I have proper snow gear [Husband insisted I get out of my Australian Army Surplus coat from 15 years ago.] and there is only one person inside my body.

Son found

2009-01-21T15:42:00.001-05:00

his hands a few days ago. Now he loves to grab at things. It makes him giggle.

Clinton confirmation hearing for Secretary of State

2009-01-16T09:39:00.003-05:00

Barbara Boxer:

I have a few pictures to share with all of us. And they're brutal pictures. And I'm not showing them for shock value. I want to show them because I don't think we can look away from the plight in women in the world.

And as I said, Nicholas Kristof confronts these issues in a series of compelling articles. In one, he tells us about the recent acid attack against young girls in Afghanistan, where they're going to school with their teachers. And we have a photo of one of the victims to show you on that. I'm just going to do these very quickly. OK.

He profiles a story in a second picture, I'll show that, of a Pakistani woman who was viciously burned by her husband with acid because she dared to divorce him. This is what we're talking about. This is Ms. Azar. OK.

Thousands of women have suffered similar attacks throughout Asia, and no prosecutions, senator. Kristof tells us the story of a Vietnamese girl named Sina Vann who was kidnapped at age 13; she was sold into sex slavery in Cambodia. When she refused to see customers, she was tortured brutally with electric shocks and locked in a coffin full of insects.

And Kristof illustrates an act of horrific brutality in a piece called "If This Isn't Slavery, What Is?" in which a young Cambodian girl had her eye gouged out by her brothel owner after taking time off to recover from a forced abortion. This is a picture of that, just very beautiful, young woman.

So I'm introducing some legislation. One is a companion piece of Representative Carolyn Maloney. Another one is the Afghan Women Empowerment Act, which many on this committee have worked with us on. And that's just the beginning. No woman or girl should ever have to live in fear or face persecution for being born female.

And, senator, I know how deeply you feel about this. And so I wanted you to take a little more time to talk about your commitment to this particular issue. And, obviously, I would be so pleased if you would commit to help us work on a legislation to fight this immorality.

HILLARY CLINTON: Well, senator, you have been such a leader. And I have been honored to be your colleague and your partner in a number of these efforts that have been undertaken on behalf of women around the world.

And I want to pledge to you that as secretary of state I view these issues as central to our foreign policy, not as adjunct or auxiliary or in any way lesser than all of the other issues that we have to confront.

I, too, have followed the stories that are exemplified by the pictures that you held up. I mean, it is heartbreaking beyond works that, you know, young girls are attacked on their way to school by Taliban sympathizers and members who do not want young women to be educated. It's not complicated: They want to maintain an attitude that keeps women, as I said in my testimony, unhealthy, unfed, uneducated.

And this is something that results all too often in violence against these young women, both within their families and from the outside. This is not culture. This is not custom. This is criminal. And it will be my hope to persuade more governments, as I have attempted to do since I spoke at Beijing on these issues, you know, 13 and some years ago, that we cannot have a free, prosperous, peaceful, progressive world if women are treated in such a discriminatory and violent way.

I have also read closely Nick Kristof's articles over the last many months, but in particular the last weeks, on the young women that he has both rescued from prostitution and met who have been enslaved and abused, tortured in every way: physically, emotionally, morally.

And I take very seriously the function of the State Department to lead our government through the Office on Human Trafficking to do all that we can to end this modern form of slavery. We have sex slavery, we have wage slavery, and it is primarily a slavery of girls and women.

So I look also forward, senator, to reviewing your legislation and working with you as a continuing partnership on behalf of these issues we care so much about.

And finally, the work that the women of the Senate did in connection with First Lady Laura Bush on behalf of the women of Afghanistan has been extremely important. That program was started in the State Department. It was midwifed by a group that I helped to start back in the Clinton administration called Vital Voices. Mrs. Bush has been outspoken on behalf of the plight of Afghan women, on behalf of Aung San Suu Kyi in Burma, and other women facing oppression around the world. And I'm very pleased that that project will be spun off to Georgetown where it will continue under Mrs. Bush's sponsorship.

So we're going to have a very active women's office, a very active office on trafficking. We're going to be speaking out consistently and strongly against discrimination and oppression of women and slavery in particular, because I think that is in keeping not only with American values, as we all recognize, but American national security interests as well.

BOXER: Well, I couldn't have asked for a better answer.

The milk is

2009-01-15T10:30:00.002-05:00

next to the Tequila in the fridge at work.

Can it really be

2009-01-14T13:57:00.002-05:00

that we're really down to just a few days until the end of the Bush presidency? I remember coming to this country at the height of the "Great American Peace". A scant couple of years after I arrived came Bush and 9/11 and the erosion of women's rights.

I knew deep down that the United States was the place for me: that it could again become the beacon of social and intellectual enlightenment, so I became a citizen.

And now...I can hardly dare to imagine a life where all women get their basic medical needs met and can choose when and if to become mothers. One week to go! Godspeed President Obama!

He who is greatest among you shall be your servant

2009-01-12T14:16:00.002-05:00

From now on, Martin Luther King Day is a day on, not a day off. The President-elect and his family are calling for a day of service. What a wonderful way to celebrate and begin a new year.

I will be providing resume help to low-income jobseekers in my community. What will you do?

I want to be this cool

2009-01-07T10:40:00.002-05:00

True story from a friend of a real, actual friend at the Agency....

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 92). We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue.
My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?' Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response, knowing he would have a good one, and in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response. 'Got drunk once, and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.'

My first

2009-01-05T17:09:00.003-05:00

slow cooker arrived today. And now to enter the wonderful world of cheap but tender meat. Not enough money saved to offset the cost of Daughter's preschool - but still. Daughter is playing house cricket with Husband right now. It's sublime that she knows the word 'wicket'. Son is kvetching in my arms because he got his first jabs today. And so the evening continues.

From

2009-01-02T14:40:00.002-05:00

wamawoo to kanaroon. Soon enough Daughter will graduate to kangaroo...